Saturday, July 25, 2009

Oh, orange sauce... I miss you already


Just spent the past 15 minutes preparing these delicious breakfast samwiches consisting off egg, hash brown, sausage patty and the wonder condiment that is La Vic's Orange Sauce on an English muffin.






Unfortunately these last few squirts completely depleted my orange sauce supply and consequently ends my study entitled "What Foods Taste Better With La Vic's Orange Sauce?". The final tally... 2,347 meals improved with orange sauce... None that were not.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Handerpants... Handerpants... HANDERPANTS!!!

This one is pretty self-explanatory. They're underpants... for your hands! I'm about 90% sure these are not an actual product, but I would still very much want a pair.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Urinal Etiquette Refresher Training


Due to recent events which are best described as creepy, I believe it's time that guys everywhere reviewed the rules for urinal selection:

http://www.icbe.org/general-urinal-etiquette/

To summarize, every effort should be made to preserve a one urinal buffer zone at all times... That goes for you, elderly Asian businessmen (yes, that's plural) who insist on skipping the half dozen empty urinals in order to cozy up right next to me!


Friday, July 17, 2009

On the way to Vegas...




I am at the Santa Barbara airport witnessing the spectacle that is SB frat boys. If you took the most exaggerated movie or television stereotype then tripled it, you would have what is in front of me right now... Complete with overly loud greetings (including chest bumps and nicknames), inappropriate public roughhousing, and complete abuse of the word "dude".

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Cube Art Billy Mays

A tribute to the king of all pitchmen....




Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I'm Back... Sort of...

Say you want to find the nearest sushi restaurant... There's an app for that!



Now say you started a blog over ayear ago only to discover that you are too lazy / busy to regularly post on your blog... Well now there's an app for that too!!

That's right folks, my beloved iPhone now has a blogging app (BlogPress). Given the spectacular failure of my previous attempt to blog, I figured I could take advantage of this new app to give it another go. "No Cheese Allowed version 2.0" will focus on short spontaneous quips (read "incomplete, poorly developed thoughts") which I can whip up while expending a minimum amount of time and effort. If I can't write it during my mid-morning poop session (hypothetically of course), you will probably not find it here.

In following the "short and sweet" theme... Good night!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

GOOooooooooobama!!

Although there's no telling how the next 4 years will play out, it was still incredibly encouraging to see Obama win (convincingly) tonight. If Obama's victory speech was any indication of how he will lead the country in coming years, I think we are going to start seeing an upswing in the state of our poor country come Jan 20th, 2009... or at the very least a halt to our downward spiral. One thing that stuck out to me was his honest assessment that our country is, to paraphrase, "in the crapper right now" and that it would take a lot of time and hard work to fix it. I was also pleased to hear him say that winning the election was just the beginning and that the true success had yet to be achieved through the actions and decisions of the incoming administration.

Finally, I was also glad to hear him acknowledge the millions of people in other countries who were following the election. I wholeheartedly believe that the view of the United States by the international community has already improved with the election of a progressive candidate. The mere fact that millions of Americans mobilized in unprecedented numbers to emphatically call for change in our government is enough to warrant some positive attention from outsiders. Like it or not, many countries judge our citizens by the actions and words of our most prominent leaders... and unfortunately we have had a bumbling idiot as our spokesman for the past 8 years. In Barack Obama, I see someone who has the potential to earn back some of the respect lost over the past two terms. Honestly, I'd be happy to be able to travel to another country and proudly say "I'm an American" without having to immediately shake the perception that we are a bunch of arrogant, gas-guzzling, war-hungry cowboys!