My New Habit

So each of the past few weekends I have found myself dismantling sections of my poor car. It all started about a month ago when I went to open my trunk and found myself holding a section of metal and plastic that just moments ago was attached to the rest of my car. In a move that would've made McGyver proud, I temporarily reattached the trunk handle using a few bandages I found in my car's first aid kit. Well, two weeks ago I finally had the necessary parts and time to get my poor car fixed... a task I had no doubt I could handle easily on my own. Well, about an hour into the job I realized that those sadistic jerks who designed my car decided to make all critical bolts and screws just barely unreachable by conventional hand tools. In the process of discovering that each bolt that needed unbolting was precisely 1/32nd of an inch further away than my twisted, contorted arm could reach, I also managed to find every sharp metal edge on my car's frame... with my bare skin, of course. Cut up and on the verge of throwing a wrench through my windshield in frustration, I decided to stop and regroup.

Round 2. One week (and one trip to Home Depot) later, I set off to finish the job. With the proper tools, things were going much more smoothly this time around. That is, until I inadvertenly dropped a socket wrench attachment into a small opening in the plastic interior of my trunk! Duck Duck DUCK!!! That was ALMOST what I screamed aloud at that very moment. After laying in the fetal position in the corner of the garage sucking my thumb for about 10 minutes I decided it was time to put my fancy schmancy engineering degree to use! Using a flexible mini reading light and a wad of duct tape, I was able to fashion a crude fishing device. It only took a few minutes of twisting and poking around before I was able to retrieve that blasted piece of chrome. After that little episode, it was smooth sailing the rest of the way.

So to recap... in order to fix one broken trunk handle, make sure you have the following:

• 1 socket wrench with 10mm deep socket attachment
• 1 phillips head screwdriver
• 1 pair of needle nose pliers
• 6-8 hours of free time
• 1 engineering degree
• 1 dozen choice expletives
• 1 pillow which can be used to relieve frustration by punching or screaming into
• Enough self-restraint to not start randomly hurling nearby objects around when you make a bonehead mistake

** Update **
I spent this past Saturday afternoon installing a new car stereo (which, of course, involved more dismantling of car parts and sudden realizations that I may have gotten in way over my head.) So far, I have not seen any sparks while driving nor smelt any burning electrical wires so I'm starting to think I actually managed to wire everything up correctly. At least I hope so.